Clinically Insane
by Cordys-Vision
Summary: None of them knew what it was like to be clinically insane. None of them, not a single one of them knew what it was like to have Lord Voldemort inside of your head On. A. Daily. Basis.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. If I did, why would I be writing fanfiction? Credit: J.K. Rowling. **

**A/N: Hello, Hello, I wrote this at like 2 in the morning one night and I just forgot to post it but I am super curious as to what you guys things. Warning…it's a little dark and I guess you can call it OOC but I always thought Harry would be completely insane after all the ridiculous things that happened to him. Also. Cedric Diggory is alive, he plays not a huge significant role, but I really like him so I threw him in here. Okay. That's all. Reviews are wonderful. Please and thank you in advance. **

None of them knew what it was like to be clinically insane. None of them, not a single one of them knew what it was like to have Lord Voldemort inside of your head On. A. Daily. Basis. I couldn't understand why they bothered to visit anymore. I hadn't spoken actual English to them in 3 years. I hadn't spoken to them in any other language either. I wasn't just clinically insane, but I was mute. Or at least that's what everyone else would tell you. The story is one for the history books. I remembered the first time I'd heard someone tell the story out loud…

"_Well, it was that school I tell you. Hogwarts. It wasn't good for him; they should've kept him living with those muggles I tell you. Kept him away from all that. I mean, did you hear? He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, was actually planting things in his head? Oh, the poor thing. Having to hear his mother's screaming voice every time a dementor got near…"_

I remember that it was a nurse. A pretty blonde nurse. She changed the bed sheets all the time, and brought me extra cookies when she could get them from the kitchens. I liked her. Her name was Doris.

"_That in itself is enough to drive anyone insane. That wasn't even it though Angela, You know that girl, Ang? The redhead? Well, word has it she completely broke his heart, days before he found out that he had to battle You-Know-Who all on his own. Oh Angela, could you imagine? According to the newspaper they were deeply in love. And then…he did what he had to. He got rid of You-Know-Who…god bless him. But he still hears him. In his head. Angela could you imagine? He hasn't SPOKEN in years. Too afraid to speak…I don't even know if he understands me…I just try to make it a little better for him. I bring him some extra stuff every now and then…He's a sweet boy." _

I'd heard that story several different times from several different mouths over the years. It all meant the same exact thing. I was now clinically insane. Mute. And everyone felt sorry for me. They all visited. Like packrats. Sucking off the energy I still had left. I was in a padded cell for crying out loud and they couldn't even leave me in solitude then. What did I have to do to get quiet? Die? Tried that. I just happened to be quicker then the most dangerous wizard of all time. My bad.

She visited the most. Her red hair was so brilliant it was the only thing I could ever focus on. It was like a fire burning. I don't know why she visited so much. Like Doris, had put it: She'd completely broken my heart. The first few times she tried talking to me. Talking sense into me. I'd stare at the wall. She'd cry. I'd stare at the wall. She'd cry some more. She'd yell…then I'd cry. Then Doris would come and tell her she had to leave. Doris never let anyone upset me. I loved her for that. Some days Ginny would just sit, watch me. I'd ignore her. Most recently she just held my hand…but recently…I was almost certain that she could see _right_ through me.

Like clockwork, Ginny was back on Friday. Her flaming red hair trailing behind her, but she didn't sit down this time. She didn't reach for my hand. She crossed her arms over her chest, and tapped her foot. It was incredibly annoying, the tapping of her foot. I stared up at her, a confused expression on my face. I wouldn't speak. I wouldn't ask her what she was doing. She didn't deserve speech from me.

"I'm engaged." She said softly. It shocked me. Engaged? I wanted to ask her to whom. Then I realized that it didn't matter.

She sighed, clearly annoyed. "Last night Harry. Last night Cedric Diggory proposed to me. He proposed Harry, and I said yes."

I blinked and looked up at her again. I cared…just not enough. Not anymore.

She blew out a breath and I could hear the frustration in it. I could see the tears beginning to glisten.

"You're just going to sit there aren't you? You're not going to say a damn thing. Damn it Harry! TALK to me!"

She was so annoying. I wanted her to leave. Where was Doris when you really needed her?

"Harry, you don't care? You don't care that I'm getting married? Well fuck Harry, I know you don't give a damn about me, but I want you at the wedding. _Cedric_ wants you at the wedding. And not with a fucking attendant nurse! Harry god DAMN it! TALK to me."

I wished she would stop speaking. Stop screaming. I was angry that they took away your wand here. I was never angry about that before.

"I still loved you, you know that? Yeah. I was still in love with you Harry, I was still THERE for you, you wouldn't let me in! God, what was I supposed to do? Harry, you wouldn't talk to me, you wouldn't touch me, you wouldn't laugh with me, Harry I was 16 years old and I was SCARED! Okay? I didn't…" She crossed the room, till she was directly in front of me, she got down on her knees.

"I didn't know." She touched my cheek. "I didn't know that he was in your head. Harry, you never told me…"

She was crying. I wanted to hit her in the face. How dare she pretend to understand…at all?

"But Harry, its okay now. He's gone. You got rid of him. Okay? You're okay. You...can…speak. I know you can. You just don't want to. Harry…you're not crazy. I know you're not- "

She stopped halfway through her speech and I couldn't figure out why and then I realized that my hand was wrapped around her wrist, gripping tight, causing a bruise.

"Harry…that hurts." She said softly. I gripped tighter, my mouth stretching into a grin. I leaned really close into her face, close enough to kiss her. My lips were brushing whispers across hers.

"He never left." I said in a whisper.

She stared at me for a long moment.

"Harry…Harry….who are you talking about? Who never left?"

I gripped her wrist even tighter, practically giggling now.

"Harry…Ow! You're hurting me!" She tried to yank her wrist away but I didn't want to let go. The look on her face was priceless.

"He's still here Ginny, He's right here."

She looked lost, her big eyes opening wide.

"Harry, WHO are you talking about? I'm confused…"

I let go of her wrist. I watched the relief flood her face and let out a high, cold laugh. "Ginny. Lord Voldemort. He's still. Here."

Ginny's entire face got white. I swear she started shaking.

"Harry, we have to tell someone. Harry…this is…not…where is he? How do you know?"

I grinned, shaking my head.

"You always were a stupid little girl weren't you?"

She frowned shaking her head slowly, "Harry, I don't understand. What's going on? I don't like…You're eyes…they're…" Her eyes widened and then her mouth fell open. "No…"

I grinned. Light bulb. She'd caught on.

"It's me." I said in a soft whisper before collapsing into a fit of giggles.

"Harry…" She sad in the softest whisper. "You're eyes used to be the most brilliant shade of green. They're…they're black as coal right now. Harry, what happened?"

I looked at her shaking my head, it was such a shame. She was so pretty. I really didn't want her to have to die. But no one lived once Lord Voldemort decided he wanted them dead. I took my hand, ran it across her cheek down her neck. I grinned, caressing it for a second then I wrapped my hand around it, pulling her closer to me.

"Lord Voldemort," I whispered in her ear. "Is my past, present and future." I pulled back, watching her scared eyes, watching the tears. "I do his bidding. I am his most faithful servant." I tilted my head.

"It's sad though, Ginny, because you got away once…but no one and I mean no one, escapes him twice. Not even Harry Potter."

She was coughing now. I was crushing her airway.

"You. Are. Harry. Potter." She choked out.

I shook my head quickly, "No, Gin, No. I _was_ Harry Potter." I took the pillow off my bed, and slid it over her face. I pressed down hard. She struggled for hardly 3 minutes. It'd been so simple. I removed the pillow and stared down at her face. It hit me like a ton of bricks. That red hair…It looked exactly like…I didn't even have time to process the whole thought before I threw up. I cried and I threw up and she just LAYED there. Doris came in to bring me lunch and saw her just LAYING there like a sad rag doll. Like my dead _mother_. She ran screaming from the room. That was sad. I always liked Doris. The quick glance at the mirror told me that my eyes were green. Just like they'd always been. Suddenly I felt more like Harry Potter than I had for the past 3 years and it all hit me like a giant ton of bricks and I heard it again. My mother. Begging for mercy.

"_Have mercy! Have mercy!"_

I'd backed myself into a corner, rocking back and forth on my knees by the time the aurors came for me. I tried to explain to them. It wasn't my fault. It was just that nobody lived once he decided to kill them. And He was inside my head. How was that my fault? I'm not sure what the answer is. But now I'm sitting in a cell that's too small and smells like rat dung.

Clinically Insane. They'll never understand.


End file.
